~ I DUn't Want to Lose The MooN tHats BEen RevolvINg Around The Preety SUn~
Ok, while im typing down this entry, im seriously very very down..i don't wish to write about this but somehow this blog of mine is just a place where i express all my thoughts and feelings and i have decided to write it down.
I met hun last night at the bridge and we had so much fun. We were crazy as per normal, we burst into laughter and as per usual, hun always mimicks me in whatever that i do. Especially when i said "NNNOOOO!" The motive of meeting hun was to talk about me going to Malaysia to study and i was just telling hun what could have happened. I know you are very confused and you are also remorse, but i just have got no choice but to let you know about this.
Situations started to change at 10pm when we both were very serious. No more laughter, no more jokes. I asked hun if he still would want to continue with the wonderful chemistry that we are having now..not giving me any specific answer, you said "i have a plan, and which..why not we don't meet or call or msg for one whole month and we see how it goes, untill i have confirm that im going to malaysia"
Now, that hurts just so bad. The reason why he is doing this was for my own good. He did not want me to be so hurt at the end of the day if ever i really do have to leave singapore..his trying to make me "get Prepared" so that when its confirm that im leaving singapore, i would not be so hurt to do so. Although i know deep down inside, eu do support me for this and i knw eu just cant bare to see me go. Now, that goes the same for me. eu aint alone hun~ However, i can still remember that eu said if ever im not going, do give you a call or msg eu n eu will be there for me. I will be waiting for that particular day to come. I WILL.
i know somehow, hun is doing this for my own sake but i just find that this really really sucks. I no longer can wish him Gdmorning, i no longer can hear his voice like i used to everyday, i no longer can see him mimicking me.:(.
I don't want this to happen but probably i just have to because i JUST HAVE TO.
The time when we had to leave last nyt. When you guided me through that lane to the roadside, i just felt like i don't want to let you go, i don't want to take the cab home and i don't want to see you go. Am i ever going to see you again? i do not know..i really do not know. Im just hoping for the best for us, for i still do have faith in this. Im not giving up. Im NOT, never, for you have always been the moon thats been revolving around the preety sun~
Im not going to put all this at waste, im not going to make this permanent. Just hang in there hun for its just temporary~ Im standing Strong and will keep eu close to my heart :)
* I'm Truly, Deeply GOing TO miss EU*
Lotsa love
Nadiah