-UGLY THOUGHTs-
Well, its the 24 of may last night and it was my Late father's Birthday. I am still able to recall how he smiled at that very day,24 of may 2007. We headed to Bali thai for his birthday and everyone was smiling widely..but yesterday, the house was in total silence,such awkward serenity i never felt before on this date. There was no one at home as mum and the rest headed to Mallaca for my dad's upcoming art exhibiton opening.. I was all alone at home after waking up and this emptiness i felt inside when i woke up was so strong that i wished i had not been in that situation. I felt deeply hopeless. Knowing that i can never get to see him ever again..and nor can i see him smile again on that very date. I tried to forget but i just cant..Its so impactful that everything little i do that connects myself to my dad, it can really really really make me feel so super down..just like how i felt early morning yesterday. :( i guess its really true...its easier said then done. i heard people said.." be strong..carry on...move on..." YES I AM MOVING ON but....its not the same.. and its really hard to TRY to forget when you actually really cant.. noone can actually understand how it feels.. Emotions strikes more upon realising that this coming 31st of may is my Late father's ONE YEAR. time passes MADLY fast that it makes me feel as though it just happened yesterday. Its still so fresh here in my mind and i want it to fade..cuz deep within its really hurting me sumhow. Yes i may look happy and all bubbly but to come to think about it, THIS CAN MAKE ME HOPELESS LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT. TRULY MADLY DEEPLY
THE HAPPY PART-
Well, i did not want to dwell on this thing so much so i decided to GET A LIFE.
Met my Sweetheart and we had food at lucky plaza..:) truly had great time with you dearest:)
" Thanks to you for making me happy when i was somehow rather down.and im sorry for disturbing you nonstop:) I ENJOY doing that.haha! and thanks to you, MY BLUE BLACK GREW BIGGER! urrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! eu WATCH OUT:)"
Well, it was just a short outing as he had to head on for work..i sent him off and was all alone again. HAHA! but it was alright..went straight home and rested at home and did some house chores before mum gets back from MSIA..
I Hearts YOu :)
LOVES,
NADIAH-