I was awaken by my mum's high pitched voice in the morning today...As early as even before the sun rises..She shouted " GRANDMA HAD PASSED AWAY!" I heard that and i could not even cry. Because..i was simply TOO SHOCKED. Sometimes i wonder, why is it that people around me and especially my loved ones dies shockingly.....are all of these fated or what? maybe yea but why...i always wonder....and the most unbelivable part was, while everyone was busy getting ready to go to malaysia to visit my grandma who is sleeping there peacefully, i just stood there and watched. I wasnt able to go to Malaysia as my passport was already due. I feel like a hopeless piece of black shit i swear. I wished i could fly there without being caught. In the first place, We cant even fly..:( This is the point of time whereby i hope miracles can happen.
I was very desperate.Desperate.desperate.
I cried weeks ago when i heard that my grandma was very sick...but we were told that she was recovering very well already and she was supposed to discharge TODAY. But, i guess it was her time to go....to the another world. World with a much better place and everything is just so good...I hope she goes to heaven, I will pray for her just like how i always do for my late father. Im happy that my grandma left because i believe that she can visit my father there...I know my granny misses my father so much and i knwo that my father misses his mum so much too...I hope and pray that both are placed in heaven...A beautiful land none can ever imagine..and tonite...i really wonder..tmr may even be my last day on earth...you can never predict. Seriously. Like my late father, who expects that he was going to go? NONE DID. He was a very healthy man...but because god loves him more, so he took him away from us..
Anyway, lets skip this. I don't want to end up having tears in my eyes.
.OK today was the First day of Musical college 56 training! It was quite fun. We laughed a lot as per usual..Aidil was laughing histaricly as always. HAHA. Me and syirah twinny was so funny. We both wanted to eat LONG JOHN. But im sorry dear i did note at with you...hehe next time ok dear:) anyway, today the "KALAU NAK STEP JAMBU BOLEH" girl was there too...i was so annoyed with her. We down there standing up and going through the exercise, SHe down there seating down with her handphone..and shes always with her phone..and the worst thing was her phone rang and she still have the cheek to talk for like one minute? But yea i think i understand...knowing where she came from, i guess i should be the smart one to understand and give in to her unacceptable attitude. HAHA.
Today after training i went to vivo City to meet my baby..He got a new job btw. At SENTOSA:) haaa. i guess he will start to be tann again! we went to eat long john. tell you guys somehting ok..
IM FUCKING IN LOVE WIH LONG JOHN CHEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY WEEESSSEEEEYY!!!!!!! I SWEAR I CAN EAT SO MUCH OF THOSE!!!! DAMN!!!!!:)
Ok till here.
PS: I dunt want to lose anyone again...not this time:(
Today, i went with my mum to the Pesta Perdana 10. It was indeed very fun as i managed to meet up with my mediacorp friends:) many were dressed u so so so so so so so stunningly! n everyone was filled with glitters everywhere since that was the theme of the event..i took many picstures but it was very sad that y camera batt went flat so i only managed to take the pics through my handphone.
Thank god theres a thing called handphone camera. HAHA.
Met up with Rahsia Perkahwinan crew and fellow friends who acted with me in the show...im so happy for kak rahimah who won the best woman actress award thsi year:) She deserves it alot though! anyway, this coming tuesday im going to mediacorp again for drama Radio recording..
Its two weeks of school holidays but its not exactly a school holiday i guess. We still have to come back to school for make up lessons and oh man..im going to be so busy with my musical for the college 56. TMR is my first training and im DAMN EXCITED FOR IT WOOOHOOO!:)
Oh ya talking about performance, i will be having a performance at Esplanade with Farhana and Kunjung fo the Noise Singapore event. We will be singing a Malay song which is composed by Firdaus, our third year music student in NAFA:)
Im looking forward for so many things coming up for me..:)
For now, just a short saying. I MISS MY RAHMAN DARLING:( I LOVE YOU DEAR:)
Loves
Nadiah
Ps: i tink its best you stop whatever you are trying to do.
School ended very very early today so the three of us..me farhana n constance decided to watch a movie. We watched the " Guys are just not that into you" a godd movie i must say! There was one part when jennifer aniston hugged the guy and i was already in tears... and it was so funny cuz my dearest ana seating on my right was almost tearing too and she looked at me and we both laughed in the Cinema!:) what went the best was we three were making fun of sumone's laughter and i think i shall not mention i over here who but OMG IT WAS SO HILARIOUS that we were all laughing like hell! and i was doing this hip hop move thing and farhana was laughing like untill she was goingt o DROP. right dear?:) i know u like it a lot...hahhaa i disturbed her even after iv crossed the road, i did the hip hop move again!:) HAHA ALL in all, i had a fantastic fun day with my loved ones:)
I LOVE YOU THREE!
AND to AMERIE AMMMMSYYYYYYYYYY darling....
I MISSS YOU DEAR!!!!!!!!!! please take gd acre alryt and do cum cum cum cum ( CUM?) to school ok! i love you too:)
MY Crazy ladies that i LOVE!!! The night we went all black:)
Ok guys this is something very very interesting that i must update all of you! :) ok basically im currently involve in a malay musical for my freaking FIRST TIME and im so excited for it! Last saturday was the meet with the Directors and all the people incharge..the vocal teacher and all:) we had to learn some dance steps and it was so so fun im telling ya! HAHA our performance will be on 11 of july and it will be at the DBS theatre! how cool:)
The dance steps are like the ones you see in Greese show but its quite simple for now...we have yet to learn more! ok i made so many friends there..and they are mainly twiiny syirah's friends BUT that was before:) they are now also My FRIENDS! yae im so happy hahaha:) they are a whole lot of fun and fun and fun and fun bunch group of people i swear im going to have such an awesome time during the process of this musical!:) btw, the title is colleage 56 the Musical!:)
IM ALL OUT for it but im just afraid it will clash with school. But if it does clashes, i will try to arrange the schedule:) i just hope that this will be a very gd turn out:)
Oh man..today i had a very bad mensors cram.. and when i came to school my friends went like.."OMG NADIAH WHY U LOOK SO PALE?" i felt the diff though. my body was weak but ihad to go schoo because i did not want to miss acting class..Acting class today was so sos fun. We played the LOGICAL game. im sure you guys have got no idea what im talking about anyway wth logical game!? hahahaha. its hard to explain so yeah...nevermind:)
HOOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IV GOT BACK MY sony ericsson handphone!!!! and i went to collect it with baby at wisma atria..its free because i still have me warranty card though, lucky me:)
Today baby went back to my place to tutor my lil brother mathematics for his upcoming exams:) till here...
I LOVE MY NAFA MATES n im so happy that its a new week..MEANS...a whole lot of new fun things in school with them!:)
She makes me smile with the way she laughs, She makes me happy with the way she teases me..I never knew i can find the bestfriend quality in her. I want to be closer to her as i always feel comfortable being around her...i love her just like my lil sister :) I used to think that she may just be a friend...a nromal friend perhaps but as day passes by, i feel so strongly connected to her. The thing is, we have many things in common and she knows i know. haha. Her crazy cute laughter that never fails to make me laugh...sumhow, i care a lot for her. theres just this spark in us i feel whenever we meet:).......I dunt know why everytym when she tells me that she feels upset, i tend to be a lil sad too. Really. When shes very very happy, im even happier:) When she cries, I comfort her.. when she complains, i listen. then say out what i have to.:) ALL in all, Iv found a new bestfriend:)
My Nafa Mates have been very very very very aWesome!:) I love my four girlfriends a lot.. CONSTANCE,AMERIE, FARHANA,DEBORAH SO MUCH:) Its like when they are not in school even just one of them, i don't feel as happy as im capable of whenever all are present!! Imust say, they are my PART TIME LOVERS? hehe? i treasure them a lot. Every one of them makes me happy and its because of them IM HAPPY OF GOING TO SCHOOL. Iv had a great day today...i went of today with baby...damn he was s handsome with his work uniform:) I FEEL SO LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) LOves again, nadiah
Ok i dont know why but now adays i only got the mood to upload videos sia!:)
ok this video up here is my runway modelling video which was taken late last year around december?:) it was for this bridal modelling thing called garciadefernanadez:) enjoy!
Here is a video i want to share with all of you.i sucked the helium from a balloon!...in translation..." FUCK THAT GUY,TOUCH MY BOOBS DUN WANT TO PAY!" ( TRANVESTITE)
I tell u what everybody...i was lauging like a mad woman when watched this video..
"BEcause you are the reason that made me smile today, you are the reason why im looking forward for tmr..you are the reason why i should smile...you are the reason that makes me happy.. you are the reason that makes me laugh...you are the reason that makes me a happier person...you are the reason that makes me so bubbly and joyful today...Sweetheart, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND HAPPY 15 Mth!" :)
Anyway, this was the video that i did for my beloved bf when it was our Anniversarry:) I feel so happy now the fact that tmr will be our 15 mth! Oh man...Im so grateful to have bump onto him at jurung point two years ago in october...that was the point of time when i was like..OMG...rahman..."SO cute man..SO handsome" HAHA! it was really funny come to think of it:) But now the fact that im happily in love with him makes me a happier person and i really have got nothing more to ask except, "MAY WE BOTH LAST LONG" because i really really have a lot of hopes in us...
Baby, Happy 15mth to you and always know that i will always love you:) you are my hero, you are MY MAN :)
Loves,
Nadiah:)
PS: IM FEELING SO SO SO SO HAPPY NOW I WANT TO HUG MY BF! HEHE
I think i was so stupid and blur yesterday, i truly WAS. ONE : I WAS OTW TO MALAYSIA TO MELAKA TO VISIT MY ILL GRANNY WHO WAS HOSPITALISED AND WHEN I ALREADY REACHED THE TUAS CHECKPOINT, I REALISED THAT MY PASSPORT HAVE ALREADY DUE. 1ST FEBRUARY 2009! I WAS FCUKING PISSED AT MYSELF.SO my bro inlaw, my twosisters left without me...i had to back home by taxi and one of the police officer excorted me to the taxi stand. Beside the taxi stand there was a busstop so i decided to take the bus instead. TWO: i went out to town with baby and i was supposed to bring my sony ericsson handphone for repair...i though i left it on the table and did not bring it along with me...so i assumed that it wasnt in my handbeg. And even when i did checked, it really wasnt inside... SO my baby got irritated by me cuz i was supposed to get the phone repaired a long time ago...i was telling him confidently that i did not bring my handphone, i forgotten. When i got home, I was looking for the phone...searched everywhere, in my drawer...on the table and it was nowhere to be found UNTIL....I opened up my beg again and it was somewhere inside hidden by my make up beg. I was so dump i relly felt dump.. Anyway, i was very sad yesterday when i wasnt able to visit my granny in malaysia...its been so long since i last met her and the fact tha now i know she is really sick,makes the matter worst. IMAGINe..on oxygen support and tubes all over .going through her mouth and all. UNCONSCIOUS. i cant take that really. i love her a lot though shes a naggy granny. Shes talkative just like me. Shes sporty and loves to joke. Now she lying down there hopelessly. I broke into tears when i called my mum telling her that i could not come over because my passport already due..i WAS SO AFRAID that i may be too late to see her..Im just hoping that everything will be fine very very soon:( oh ya moving on...yesterday i went out with my dearest rahman..we went to watch movie. UNDERWORLD. It was an AWESOME SHOW IM TELLING YA!:) really....i had goosbumssss alll over me while watching the movie...gosh just so awesome! before that, we ate at lucky plaza. AYAM PENYET N GADO2. SO so sedap ok. i want to go there again sumday but i must sya that the food is quite EX lah...i mean one ayam penyet for 6.50? wtf lah..Thanks fo rthe wonderful nite sweetheart:) LOVING U ALWAYS:)
PS: I CANT WAIT TO MEET MY NAFA MATES TMR. I LOVE THEM A LOT :) i hope i hope and i continue hoping, Nadiah.
The only reason why i neglected my blog recently was because.. i did not had much time.. Anyway talking about time, now i feel so tight and worked up with many many things..Im sure you guys are aware that im working now at Eunos with the TATAMi Shop Singapore..right? somedays, i feel so so tired and even that i have to go to work. The fact that i have to handle my work and school and other things together makes me feel really worked up. In march, so many things will be in store for me, to the extend of i dunt know which one to choose..I have Mediacorp radio recording, I have Singing performance with my dearest ana at esplanade, i have an offer wuth the mastereign arts company which is just so fucking awesome. BUT, im so afraid if i take up all, i may end up killing myself. And will i even have time for my family as well as my dearest sweetheart, Rahman. Whatever i do now, theres just too many things to consider...things are not as direct as it used to be. I miss my life before where i can just say Ok to everything and i dunt have to worry bout anything..im more conscious of my surroundings now which i think is good but sumtyms it kindda stress me up too.. .. ALL i wish to do now is, TO GO FOR HOLIDAY. Seriously, i really miss going for holidays..those younger days where i used to travel all around Malaysia, Indonesia, China, and Turkey with family.. Life had changed eversince my dad passed away...Its so different that i noticed the lack of communication in the family...I want to make a difference in this but i dunt know how. I want to make my mum the most happiest women in the world but perhaps not yet...Im still depending on her for school expenses..though im working, thats just to support my own expenses and bills. I want to be an independent woman..I want to succeed in life and be the best that i can be. I want to be successful in my Acting career and the Arts industry..Theres so many things that i want to do...i wish i can do it just with a click..PATIENCE AND HARDWORK thats what i need to do. Sometimes, when i daydream, i wonder...after i graduate from Diploma in Theatre what am i going to do..how my life would be..Will i ever be successful? I HOPE i will.. anyway, many things have happened to me..Baby and i are doing great as per usual, though we do had some fights, we reconciled pretty fast...I see him in my future and im really hoping for the best. Iv gone through many ups n downs with him and i just hope that all these will lead up to a happy ending.MARRIAGE:) yes marriage. Thats what i hope for between us. I never knew i can be so in love with someone untill he came into my life.. His just like another part of me. I feel so sad if his sad. I feel so mad if his MAd. I feel so amazingly happy whenever he is. Our chemistry is so strong that i believe nothing can break us apart...Except, if its just really not meant to be. WE just hope. and i hope that my HOPE will turn out into reality sumday...perhaps in 6 or 7 years to come..:) Today, mama had a call saying that my granny in melaka is very very sick. She was sent to the hospital with an oxygen support..and was sent to an emergency ward..btw, she is my Dad's mum. SO yeah my granny beside my father. Come to think of it, Tmr is Valentines day and if anything goes wrong and if something were to happen to my grandma, this would be the second time i will tear on a good day like Valentines day.Two years back during 31st May 2007, my Dad passed away when everyone was happily enjoying their public holiday, Vesak Day. so i just hope that this will never have to happen again. If it does, i will have to come to melaka tmr right away and my baby will be left alone to celebrate V day. Perhaps i will make it up to him if anything were to happen..Now i hope again..that my granny will be fine soon.:( Ciows for now.. I want to eat Pizza with so many cheeeese, im craving for one i swear:( HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL:) I LOVE MY BELOVED RAHMAN BABY:) MWAHMWAH loves, nadiah
